Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Back Again!!

Phew, been awhile! I've been a little energyless lately and have only been doing the bare essentials. So a few spare minutes and thought I'd better update and let you all know what's going on.

I am pregnant. I am not happy, and the decision on whether I keep this baby has been made for me. I can't see my doctor until the 3rd June!! How ridiculous is that?? Even then it's just a 'prelim checkup' and no guarantee that he'll actually take me on as a patient. Great! So I rang the midwives and they won't see me until I am 20 weeks which is the 3rd of June. Fantastic! Health crisis? What health crisis???

I mean this is pregnancy 5, child 4. I know what I'm doing, but the facts are I'm 33 and I have never been so ill in my life. I'm worried about having a child with a disability, which I really can not cope with. I have 3 active, stubborn, intelligent children who require my constant vigilance as it is. On the upside Shaun and Ebony and my mum are ecstatic. It's alright for them.

I've been trying to explain to Shaun that his life continues on regardless, for me it's another tee total birthday (5 in a row now), another 16 years of someone totally depending on me. Another 18 months of breast feeding and being permantantly attached to the child. My aging body is already protesting the changes taking place, I still haven't lost my Cooper tummy, I'm ill, I'm tired and I've got eczema which I've never had before in my life. Soooo itchy!. Waking up at 3am every morning to pee or dry retch, and by Xmas it will be 3 times a night to feed the babe.

It's purely selfish but I'd just reached the stage where Jack was at school, Ebony is quite happy to get herself to school and back, and Cooper has finally let me go and attends Creche once a week. I found a job that I like, that's cruisy and flexible to my family. I was becoming free again, I was rediscovering myself. Now I'm pulled right back into the depths of being just mum.

Oh, I'm an old grumble bum aren't I?? Hmm, what else has been happening??

Ah, master Jack had his 4th birthday in March. He's still so little, Cooper is almost as tall as him. LOL. Let's see if I can find a pic from his bday.

Why he's not wearing a t-shirt I do not know. My children are always in various stages of undress. Even today I'm shivering my butt off in jumper and socks and they're running around in shorts and tees. Just strange that mob.

On the scraping front, I've been very unmotivated. It just seems to much hassle to get it out and pack it up. It's a messy craft!! I did finish two projects for my store newsletter.

The top pic is Jack's ABC daycare photo. What a pain this photo was. That background is soo hard to work with. I'm happy with what I finally came up with though.
The pink canvas is a present for Ebony's BFF's Mum, Rebecca. She got married in January in Sydney. And such a lovely giving person, she really deserved it. She's always doing me favours like picking Eb up from school, and stuff. She's got 4 kids of her own but it's never a hassle. Total star. Anyway she absolutely loved it, and that makes me happy.

I did some ATC's on the weekend. But I've still got two CJ pages to do, I'm a bit behind I think. Everyone else is nearly done and I'm only halfway. Think I overcommitted myself but it had been so long since I had been in a swap for this group I felt obligated. Kicking myself now.

Also co hosting a local scrap crop in May. Need to come up with a demo for the day. Really stretching the brain matter with this - I mean everyone has pretty much seen everything now haven't they?? I've got my prize sorted, well planned, need to package it up. Might set up a display of past class kits and of course plug the retreat! Not long now for that!

Got an email from my intrepid adventurer mate Deanne. She's home in 2 weeks. Aaaarrggghhh! I haven't finished her prezzie yet! I thought I had heaps of time. Looking forward to catching up and seeing heaps of piccies! Hint hint! I'll get on to it, it's always hard making something for someone else. And I want to get it right. I've been so wrapped up in myself I haven't emailed her for ages. I'm sorry my friend, I do think of you and read each update you send several times. Revelling in your dry humour and reading between the lines to make sure you're really ok.
I also forgot my mate Donna's bday. I'm so awful, so Donna this one's for you
And on that note I really should get back to doing my BAS. Ewwww. Another thing I have neglected is my accounting so this is going to be a long drawn out process. Hee hee.
Take care people.......


Jenelle said...

Oh no, Vicki my heart really cries for you.

I would dearly love another child... but I have to think realistic, as we've already got 3, well I've got 2 and my hubby got one from his previous marriage that lives with us full time. And if we have another child, bigger car, bigger house! No thank... but my heart is just crying out for you.

I've just given up breastfeeding.. it was the best thing for me, things just got on top of me lately, and also Lucia was not a really good settled baby. She's a bit better now.. only time will tell.

Hope you can get yourself sorted out and be happy with the decision.

Keep up the good work with scrapbooking. I don't know how you do it.. i haven't done any for ages.


nicole said...

hugs Vicki, thinking of you, i would love another child as well but because of DH being fixed up its not possible. i'm sure once this new little bubby comes into your life you will be thrilled. it must of come as a shock to you to find that you where expecting again. when are you due. hugs always your friend. Nicole